CommComm+Whole+to+Whole+Essay

You need a title.

Work on your title.

Don't underline your title when typing; just put it in bold or a slightly larger font.

Work on your opening sentence. You need something that hooks the reader while relating to the topic.

You need to provide better background on the context (situation concerning this essay topic).

You need a stronger thesis that tells what you're going to contrast.

This sentence (your thesis) should tell what you'll prove or describe in the next two paragraphs.

unneeded; redundant

explain who Chaya is (you can just say that she's the protagonist)

avoid using "there are" and "there were" and "there is" in an essay; revise this to make the main verb of the sentence more active

Closing paragraph needs to include a restating of the thesis and needs to have at least four sentences.